Puerto la Pensive

I floated in the ocean today. For lack of exercise, I swam out as far as felt safe and lay on my back, floating. Fighting the tide, riding the tide. Not sinking. Not swimming. 

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Am at an internet cafe in Puerto La Cruz, which is as disorganized as I feel right now. I took the bus in with a few other students staying in Playa Colorada. Winding roads into the city. I feel a bit out of sorts here and so I decided to trail behind these people in order to become acquainted with this region.

It is strange because I am told multiple things every day. Yes, it is safe to be alone. No it is not safe to be alone, and points along the way. I feel safe enough. It is frustrating to be honked at all the time, but the sound of honking does not set off alarms to me. I am slowly figuring out where I want to be, and need to look into it. Find something to do here. In a more tangible sense- find out where the trail is- apparently a daunting three hour hike real closeby, I need to run it. 

To recap- I am a lucky girl. I do love this opportunity to be here. Now what to make of it? 

It is interesting to find that many of the people staying at the hostel are Europeans enjoying their gap year. In a sense it is truly great because now I can pick up the English accent I lost so many years ago. It is either safety in numbers or something completely different. I think that there is a sense of patrimony here- people feel they must protect, or unless until I show I need not that kind of protection. 

But I need to find something worthwhile to do here. I feel that observation shall not suffice, nor photos. I felt like I was on vacation today and hmm... Do I deserve this?

Basically today, I feel listless.

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I have met some interesting people and had good conversations. My spanish is not terrible. Dance party tonight and I will track down a soccer ball for a friendly match on the beach. 

There is a chance that I will volunteer at a summer school type place with some of the local children. I also might go sea kayaking for a few days. The possibilities are endless-- the internet service is not.